The 5 Faces of Evil

Good afternoon my minions! Today we are going to look into and dissect one of my major foes, I call her Lady Evil, some call her the Head Itch [true, it refuses to go away!], although she’s more popularly known as Shani. The Hindu God or more perhaps Saturn, bringer of ill luck. Presenting Shani the Perera!

[Due to technical difficulties, we could not get a photo.]

As if all the above titles were not enough Shani has five different personalities kind of like Ravana’s 10 heads. Lets analyse them -

  1. Personality no.1 - The original Shani who I compare to chocolate - tempting yet bitter. 100% Pure, unadulterated evil. Looks deceive they say and its true. For in a rabbit’s skin is hidden a lion… a Sri Lankan lion. Beware!
  2. Personality no.2 - Almost as dangerous as the first one. The name given for this personality is Bucket. Almost as equipped with evilness as the former personality, Bucket is very adept at defeating her enemies, her only weakness being she likes to play with her food. Use that to your advantage! Essentially it is a lion in a lion’s skin.
  3. Personality no.3 - The easiest and most vulnerable of all the Personalities, the Ish personality is very very interesting for it is a perfect representation of a male human being. Although well learned and spoken, Ish suffers from the weakness of male’s and as you know them… POWER TO THE HORDE!! [Hint: If you ever do get caught in a tight spot with this personality, offer it KFC Chicken.]
  4. Personality no.4 - The most interesting of them all for this personality lives OUTSIDE of Shani and it goes by the name of Cat. Like all cats, it is shrewd and cunning and wills to conquer and dominate the world. We however have no trouble with this one as it is locked in a tussle with no.1 over who gets to challenge me to take over the world. Nope, don’t get fooled if they say “We made truce”… sugar coated lies, men! 
  5. Personality no.5 - Mysterious. You’ll rarely see this. Reports indicate that this personality has god like powers and a thirst for blood. This manifests itself when Shani is under too much stress or is angry. If you’ve never known fear enough to piss in your pants, trust me, you will. :twisted: Researchers at the Geeky University have named this as “Shanius Invictus”. Be afraid… very afraid… run to your momma now!

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And Shani you can’t do no nothing… ADAMANTIUM UNDERWEAR~! Try rusting THAT! :P

May 30 2008

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